The Foreign Language Expert Guy
Fast Times With The Foreign Language Expert Guy
The tests have been run, the papers
have been signed, and the powers that be have determined he is safe to return
to the streets as long as we don’t remove the restraints, keep him
sufficiently medicated, and avoid public gatherings…particularly those
featuring polka music. So without further ado, we once again present to you
that quarrelsome and quotable quasher of quantitative queryings from Quebec to
Quemoy, The Foreign Language Expert Guy!
And just in time for school to start
again, fellow fracturers of the foreign. Unfortunately, due to circumstances
beyond the control of me or my handlers, yours truly is not allowed to go near
schools at this time. Seems the local Board of Education disapproves of my
teaching methods and have made it abundantly clear that I am persona non
grata (I personally grate on them) in their hallowed halls of
academia. To that I say no problemo (Sorry, we are out of
Problemo), and thus agree to disagree. But you’d think they’d at least
give me back my raincoat.
Nevertheless, I shall soldier on for
you, Devoted Reader. My destiny to educate and inspire shall not be silenced
by those Fascists (cosmetologists), I assure you! So in
celebration of the upcoming school year, here are some alien utterances to
give the yard apes a jump-start on the new semester:
Tai Kwon Do (France)-
“We could tie one on if we only had the money.”
Huevos Ranchero
(Liechtenstein)- “That ranch dressing looks like something I puked up last
weekend.”
Faux Pas (Appalachia)-
For one’s father, as in “These credit card bills are faux pas to
pay.”
Sacre Bleu- “Sacre
is a fun date.”
Have your student practice these
terms and they too can be bigamous like The Foreign Language Expert Guy!
Send your questions directly to me or to my flunky, Bill Klein, at
FLEG@billkleinonline.com.
If you have a raincoat to spare, send that along too. However, you may want to
remove any potentially incriminating name tags.
Thank you. Subscribe today!
©2001 Bill Klein. All Rights Reserved.
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