Ask Someone Who Doesn't Give A Damn
Dear Someone Who Doesn't Give A Damn: My
daughter is a straight A student and is very active in school. In fact, she
will probably get a scholarship from a prestigious college, and she has talked
of studying medicine. Unfortunately, we just learned that she is pregnant by
her boyfriend "Nails." She wants to marry him and keep the baby, but
her father and I hate to see her throw away her life when she has such a
bright future. What can we do to convince her that she is making a huge
mistake?
Dear Heartsick: Why should I give a crap? Your
slut daughter can rot for all I care! I mean, it's not like this
"Nails" guy will stick around. Give it six months tops, and the
bum'll probably be screwing barmaids and waitresses to beat the band while she
sits at home and balloons up to two-fifty from Coors and Ding-Dongs. I'm gonna
go take a nap. Quit bugging me!
Dear SWDGAD: It's my mother-in-law. She's never
liked me, never thought I was "good enough" for her darling boy.
I've been a good wife to him, we have two lovely children, I'm active in our
church and the PTA, but all she ever does is put me down. My husband is a good
provider, a wonderful father, and he treats me like a queen, but he won't
stand up to his mother. What can I do to make her see that I love her son and
that I'm worthy of him?
Dear Daughter: Jesus Christ, if I hear any more of
these whiney-wife letters I'm going to puke! Look, Toots, why cry to me? I got
problems of my own, what with my Visa being over the limit and my Dodge
needing transmission work. Slap the old bitch around if she gives you any more
crap and the same goes for your old man, the yellow-bellied little Mama's boy.
Got it? Good. Now shut the hell up!
Dear SWDGAD: I am enclosing an inspirational
message I read in a magazine. I thought your readers might enjoy it.
Dear Reader: You interrupted my watchin' a hockey
game for this? Listen you freakin' nimrod, I've got better things to do than
read and reprint some corny "Chicken Soup For The Freakin' Soul"
crapola just because you found it "inspiring." Get a life, will ya?
Hope there's still some beer left in the fridge, I sure as hell need one!
Got a problem? Mail your questions and comments to Ask
Someone Who Doesn't Give A Damn c/o this website. Sorry, letters cannot be
returned as I use them for toilet paper ya bunch o' sniveling idiots!
Copyright 2001 Bill Klein. All Rights Reserved.
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